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One of my daily routines in my agenda is to read the new posts on About.com Bipolar Disorder and comment and learn from other’s comments on where they are in their life surviving daily with their disorder.
As many of you know I speak openly about being BP and sharing a very small part of my journey with my readers and my social networking friends. At one time to even admit I was anything then what society labels as ‘normal’ was my struggle, not my disorder being the struggle for the most part. Although some days the side effects of manic/depression takes a very conscious effort to overcome as in the days of depression that may set in or the feeling of I just can’t do it right now my mind won’t let me, or the manic bursts that are equally destructive no matter how good at the time they may have felt, I never beat myself up about it anymore. I’ve come to accept this is who I am and if other’s understand this is who I am, those days are accepted with grace and dignity towards me because I also allow them to see the other side of me they come to know, the productive, loveable, creative, determined and happy go lucky side of me.
Those who come to understand my behaviour also know I do everything I can to maintain my disorder and keep it under control which is very possible, but it is solely up to the person who lives with the disorder to control the disorder. I’ve read many who said ‘No they can not” but makes me wonder what in their life are they doing to make them believe they cannot control it. Have they continued with their doctor to find the medication that works for them? Have they taken that medication daily without missing a beat or are they missing days on end or decide they are cured because they do feel better and no longer need it? Do they eat a well balanced diet, get out for a walk when the sun is shining no matter the temperature, do exercise, yoga, meditation?
Do they take their relaxation pills (sleeping pills) when they know they cannot sleep do to their mania setting in? Do they drink alcohol excessively not just occasionally, take illegal drugs or know in their heart of hearts they are addicted to prescription drugs as in narcotics and refuse to seek help in rehabilitation?
Do they seek support groups; take responsibility for their actions so they may think about not doing it the next time knowing again they would have to take responsibility because they realize they must? Do they seek anger management counselling to help channel those times when anger sets in, or found some kind of outlet like writing, playing an instrument, drawing, painting or something of their passion they can use their energy for?
Let me just say I was all of the above at one time, doing all the wrong things and thinking a pill is the cure and if it doesn’t work to my liking then nothing will help, I’m doomed. The fact is a pill is never a cure it only is there to help stabilize the chemicals, everything else a person with Bipolar disorder does is up to them on how they truly want to control their life. Take it from me I am Bipolar and have been my entire life and I’m a survivor and with that survival and control I’ve turned it into my blessing and so can you.
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The most recent post in About.com Bipolar Disorder was entitled “Are your Social Media Pages Bipolar-Centric? The short post centered on one member of the forum who believes it is not a good idea, with her forum topic entitled, “Keep BP off FB”, immediately, I posted that absolutely mine are. Here is my first comment to that question.
“I definitely tell people on my facebook about having bipolar disorder. I also link information on it and joke about it to keep people at ease. I was amazed how so many people came out to me to tell me they too live with bipolar, ADHD, or Depression or have a family member with Bipolar. They feel a sense of security with me because I am very open and not ashamed of living with it. I post my poems, my blog posts, my drawings and my sense of humour. What I don’t post and talk about is having a bad day and get into detail. Occasionally I will state I’m feeling down or something about my medication but otherwise I keep the personal life issues out of it although I have made the odd mistake of talking about arguments with my spouse, but that hasn’t happened often.
If I’m feeling really down I don’t go on my facebook I stay away until I’m stable. We need to open up to the social networks more and in return other people who also live with a disorder will feel comfortable also talking about it and not feel isolated. Those who don’t live with a disorder certainly learn people with mental illness are just as normal as they are; we’re just a bit misunderstood because it’s not spoken of enough.”
After the weekend I went back to read other’s comments on this subject, not surprisingly the response was approximately 50/50 of those who admit and talk about it and those who would rather not. I personally will continue to be open about having Bipolar disorder not just on Facebook but my business blog and in conversations when the topic is brought up, this is also a reason I am involved and will become more involved in our regions Distress Centre as there are so many people in this region and around the world who need to speak openly to others of their struggles of acceptance and gain help and to know, living a ‘normal’ life is possible but first it’s the person who lives with it that must be the one who takes the responsibility of it.
After reading some comments on those who would rather not disclose their disorder I wrote another comment today and along with my comments and these posts I am also in the process of writing my memoirs of “Growing up Bipolar” to be hopefully published one day in the near future.
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“I understand how many of you feel and would rather keep your journey private as I once did. I too was afraid to open up to people and tell them of my diagnosis but what that did, I found out, was inhibit my ability to accept to deal with my disorder that I never refer to as a struggle as this to me is a negative word and with negative words comes negative reactions, but I have learned over many years to refer to it as either ’surviving’ bipolar or as I now say it is my blessing.
Again with me opening up about bipolar as part of who I am has amazed people many whom I’ve never met into seeing the creative nature and the loving person someone with this disorder is. My FB is never filled with doom and gloom but at times I will say I’m feeling a bit down and many of those who also survive daily whom I’ve come to known will pick me up with special comments. I’ve met so many people through my opening up on facebook and on my blog who otherwise was ashamed of their depression, ADHD, Bipolar or knows or lives with someone with some of these disorders who now feels comfortable enough to address questions to me.
Many people don’t want their Bipolar to define them and they are more then that, of course we all are, but Bipolar does define who we are. Bipolar disorder has been studied by Kay Redfield Jamison and associates who is also Bipolar in a book Touched with Fire as people with Bipolar are in fact creative geniuses. This something I’ve come to be proud of.
Psychiatrists like Kay Redfield Jamison who survives Bipolar and other celebrities who share their experiences of trials and tribulations are helping take the stigma off mental illness and because of these people taught me I have nothing to be ashamed of and had me accept who I was with pride and in hopes to reach out and help others who live with Bipolar to accept this is who they are and to embrace it as they control it. If we want understanding on this disorder it is important for those with the disorder to ‘come out’ and talk about it as long as they themselves have learned how to channel their behavior properly. The fact is it can be done, but, the person who lives with it must be the one to learn to first admit it then control it and take that responsibility, it is then support will flow from many places.
I write about my disorder as does my husband write about living with me for almost 19 years who we have had many trials and tribulations in dealing with it.
I am wondering Otis Durham what this statement you said meant (Again, a person of ultimate worth struggles with BP. They are not a BP person.) I was diagnosed at the age of 15 and am now 42. I have spent most of my life struggling and denying my illness, in and out of hospitals and many psychiatrists with a family doctor whom I’ve had for 27 years. Her sister also lives with bipolar disorder and has told me because of my acceptance and helping myself these past 5 years has been an encouragement as she tells her sister of my success.
The Mental Illness community needs all the help they can get in understanding and raising awareness on these disorders and it’s up to the people with these disorders to be the one’s to help other’s understand, aren’t we the best at it. Can a non alcoholic relate what alcoholism feels like? Can a person who never survived cancer relate what it feels like to be a cancer survivor? No, so how can people who don’t live with and survive a mental illness understand what it’s like to live with a disorder as in Bipolar?”
There is no shame and yes our disorder can define who we are, we just need to understand first ourselves and turn who we are into a blessing for other’s to embrace.
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